Thursday, September 10, 2009

Tashi, Bring It On: Back To School

Senior Year. That label is huge. Overwhelmingly huge. I can’t help but feel pressure to make this year extra special. Isn’t this the year when I’m supposed to be completely and totally cool, confident, and aloof? Isn’t this the year when it all changes, when all the junk that has made me generally dislike high school disappears? Not likely.

Usually I have a laundry list of goals that are going to make the school year better. “This year will be better because….” But this year, I can’t be bothered. What I’ve learned in five years of the same school, is that each year is more or less the same.

On the night before the first day of last school year, I freaked out. I was going out of my mind with worry. Who would I hang out with? What would my classes be like? What would be different?

This year, I have the answers. The same people I always hang out with. Boring, but manageable. Absolutely nothing. I guess you’d think I’ve become cynical about my high school years, but that’s not it at all. I’m just mentally ready to move on. I want to meet new people, go new places, and do new things. The same old, same old is always the same, and it’s gotten old. That’s not to say I’m going to trash my old friends and priorities as soon as graduation hits. I’ll just be making new ones.

So this year, when I inevitably have to write an essay on my goals for the year, I’m going to give just one. A simple goal that I’ve had for all my life:Be Happy.

This year, when I’m not working, I’ll be doing whatever makes me happy. If it’s not making me happy, I’m not bothering. If that means watching TV., going for a bike ride, or hanging out with friends, that’s what I’ll do. I won’t spend time worrying about what I look like, how I dress, or what people think of me. At this point, I’m just too tired to care.

So that’s it. My goal for the school year. It’s a general life goal that could mean anything from turning in my work on time and getting into a great college to stuffing my face full of Oreos and flirting with boys.

So bring it on senior year! I’m tackling everything head on. I’m going to be bolder and happier than ever before. And I surely hope that all those teachers, the ones expect a bubbly senior to come bouncing through their door with an essay full of responsible, studious goals, enjoy disappointment. When graduation comes, I’m gonna be grabbing my best friends, waving a quick goodbye, and swooping away so fast people won’t even catch the end of the, “See ya suckers!” that will be the permanent punctuation mark to my high school career.
Tashiana's the name, but you can call me Tashi. I've been a proud book addict since age four. When I'm not reading, you'll probably find me writing, hanging out with friends, obsessing over musicals, and enjoying the stressful wonderment that is my senior year of high school. You can find me at Taste Life Twice. Our CORA girl is amazing. Visit her often.


Tea said...

Congratulations Tashi!

rhapsodyinbooks said...

Great post, Tashi! I'm glad you're not freaking out over the stuff I freaked out about: what if I can't find my classes and what if I can't find my locker?!!! Okay, here it is years later - I don't even want to TELL you how many years, and I STILL have nightmares about being lost in the school and about not finding my locker!!!

I'm glad you've resolved not to worry. I hope it works out!

zettaelliott said...

I wish I had your outlook as a teen! Senior year was the worst for me, but I shared your goal: "Be happy...someday." I think you're very wise to seek happiness out NOW, in each and every moment, instead of postponing it til graduation. I hope your last year of high school gets off to a great start!

MissAttitude said...

great goal for senior year: be happy! really it should be a goal for everyone, every year since you never know if it will be your last.
My perspective is a little different since I'm only a sophmore.
Best of luck on your senior year!

Jodie said...

For me my last year was all about getting out, other people broke down on the last day, I was running for the gates.